Lee Ward: 05/31/09 — Something good in everyone, even the ones who are ‘different’ » Columns

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May 27, 2009

Lee Ward: 05/31/09 — Something good in everyone, even the ones who are ‘different’

Anonymous The Daily Independent Wed May 27, 2009, 08:40 AM EDT

Most of us have family that we’re not particularly proud of, for various reasons.

I’ve heard other Southerners say they’re not embarrassed by their crazy relatives — they bring them out of the attic and parade them around town for everyone to see.

My Aunt Mary Saul, who died recently, was an odd-ball relative I couldn’t have hidden if I tried.

Mary, my birth mother’s sister, was the first blood relative I talked to when I was searching for my biological family. She was friendly and open to my contacting the family, but I could tell there was something not “right” about her.

After I met my birth mother and two sisters, I learned the story about Mary.

When she was a woman in her 20s, she had a very well-to-do boyfriend who was a bit older than her and owned his own business. She took care of herself and dressed beautifully. They dated for years and planned to marry, but before that happened, he died of a massive heart attack.

Mary was never “right” again. Her personal relationships suffered, her thought processes declined and she no longer took care of herself. When I met her, she rarely bathed and wore raggedy, dirty clothing. She walked everywhere she went, refusing car rides from well-intentioned friends and neighbors. She lived in a trailer, that most likely should have been condemned, with at least a dozen cats.

In October last year, she was attacked and robbed. The injuries sent her to the hospital and eventually to a nursing home, where she died.

I made the four-hour drive to the funeral, mostly because I didn’t want my sister to endure another tragedy alone, but also because I didn’t want an empty chapel for Mary’s funeral, so I thought I could at least do my part and show up.

It wasn’t packed, but there was a healthy crowd of 31 for the service.

The preacher even said the nicest things about her and they were all true.

“Mary was a different kind of person,” he said. “But if you treated her with respect and honor, she would treat you with respect and honor.”

I can’t think of a nicer way for her to be remembered.

LEE WARD can be reached at lward@dailyindependent.com or (606) 326-2661.

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Lee Ward: 05/31/09 — Something good in everyone, even the ones who are ‘different’

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