KENNETH HART: Intruder spoils spring weather

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March 12, 2010

Ken Hart The Daily Independent Fri Mar 12, 2010, 07:31 AM EST

OK, all of a sudden, I’m not enjoying our recent run of warm weather nearly as much as I was.

What happened to change my mind, you ask? Well, therein lies a tale, as they say.

The other day, I was driving back to Ashland on U.S. 23 after covering an assignment in Greenup.

The temperature was quite pleasant, but not nearly warm enough, I didn’t think, to merit turning on my car’s air conditioning.

However, it was a tad stuffy inside my vehicle, so I decided to lower my driver’s-side window a little less than halfway.

That made it much more comfortable, and I motored along for several miles, enjoying the breeze and the music of Them Crooked Vultures, which I had cranked up to 11 on my car’s sound system.

As I briefly averted my eyes from the roadway, though, my pleasant little afternoon reverie was rudely interrupted.

Perched on the inside of one of the car’s roof pillars was a wasp that apparently had flown in unnoticed.

The insect was just sitting there; it didn’t look like it was poised to sting or anything. Still, a wasp isn’t generally the type of company one prefers to keep, especially in a moving vehicle.

I lowered the window a bit more, hoping it would fly away. No such luck.

Realizing that more drastic action would be needed to get rid of my stowaway, I reached over to the passenger seat of my car and picked up the yellow legal pad on which I’d been taking notes at my assignment.

Keeping my left hand on the steering wheel, I grasped the pad in my right hand and used it to swat at Mr. Wasp.

I’m not completely sure what happened next. What I think is that either the impact of the pad hitting the roof pillar knocked it loose from my grip or the wind caught hold of it. Or, maybe it was a combination of both.

Whatever the case, the next thing I knew, my legal pad went sailing out the window.

I looked in my rear-view window and saw that it had landed in the roadway, near the median, and pages were flapping wildly. Some of them had torn loose and were floating on the air currents.

I thought about turning around and going back after my notepad, but didn’t particularly relish the prospect of having to dodge speeding vehicles in order to retrieve it.

Also, I hadn’t taken many notes at my assignment and had a clear memory of what had taken place, so it’s not like I needed it all that badly.

So, I left it.

I felt kind of bad about it, seeing as how I’ve never considered myself a litterbug. I also kind of wondered if there was anything in my notes that perhaps I didn’t want falling into other hands.

However, I quickly realized I had nothing to worry about in that regard, seeing as how my penmanship is so bad that more than one person, upon seeing my handwriting, has asked me if it was shorthand.

Oh, and at some point, the wasp apparently did fly away, so I was lucky in that regard

That was definitely preferable to me squishing it and having to dispose of its corpse.

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