By MIKE JAMES - The Independent
ASHLAND — People who knew Paula Farris as a college student could tell she was destined for great things.
Tireless in her studies, infinitely inquisitive, the second-year nursing student lived almost as much for school as she did for her three sons.
At the same time, Farris was never too busy to help a fellow student, and in fact organized and led study groups in the associate degree nursing program at Ashland Community and Technical College.
Although she didn’t hide it, she never complained about being poor. And poor she was, to the point of at least once having to sell her textbooks to feed her boys.
At 40, Farris seemed to be on the verge of breaking away from privation and into a fulfilling career that would bring better lives to her and her sons.
And that is why those who knew her are still shaking their heads incredulously a month and a half after Farris died of a heart attack, apparently during a late-night study session.
Her death shattered dreams of a normal family life for her boys, Aaron Watkins, 17, Jacob Beam, 14 and Daniel Beam, 9. They now are living with Farris’ sister in South Point — a sister who has four kids of her own. The sister, Patti Bowling, is coping not only with the loss of Farris but also another sibling, their brother George Farris of Kitts Hill, who died shortly before Paula Farris.
On Aug. 18, the day before Paula Farris died, she had been at school all day, remembers Jennifer Carroll, director of the associate degree nursing program. Farris had stepped into several offices to drop off thank you notes to people who had been helpful to her in securing scholarships.
The next morning her sons called. Farris had given them the school number as an emergency contact. The boys were crying and saying their mother was dead.
Carroll and some other faculty drove to the Farris home; emergency workers already had arrived but there was nothing they could do.
Later, Carroll pieced together what must have happened: Aaron had gotten up around 2 a.m. to get a drink of water and seen his mother studying on the couch. When the boys got up in the morning, she had died.
Farris came from a family background of heart problems, Bowling said. She thinks her sister finally was overwhelmed by the grind of studying and the stress of coping with poverty and caring for her family.
Community college faculty are teachers above all — less preoccupied with research and tenure politics, their focus is the struggling, non-traditional students like Farris who fill their classes. Student success is the driving force of their careers and students who want to work for that success make getting up in the morning worthwhile.
So when one of the best and brightest is stricken down, they grieve along with the family.
“She was so driven by something coming from inside,” Carroll said. “It was more than the normal success-driven student. It was her three sons. She was trying to show them there was a way out.”
Farris went to ACTC on scholarships but never played for sympathy based on her lack of money. Handouts were offered but she declined, Carroll said.
She usually walked to class from her 31st Street home. When a faculty member offered her rides to clinical sessions at St. Mary’s Hospital in Huntington, she accepted, but later nominated the professor for an honor for filling the highway hours with teaching moments. “She saw everything in such a positive way,” Carroll said.
During skills demonstrations, which some students take casually because they work on mannequins, Farris would be visibly nervous — to her, every academic activity was serious business and demanded perfection.
The week before she died, she sold her textbooks. Her financial aid hadn’t come through yet and it was either that or let her boys go hungry. Faculty members found books for her to use in the interim.
Shortly before she died, Farris had been feeling optimistic. She had received a scholarship from the Kentucky Colonels and, with graduation coming in the spring, could almost feel her diploma in her hands. She and her sons were planning a family vacation. It was to be their first ever.
It’s still hard on the boys, Bowling said, and on her too. She is 31. The youngest of her own four is three months and she also helps her sister-in-law with her two kids on weekends.
Farris and her sons were very close, Bowling said. Her sister had had a difficult past but as she got older wanted a better life and was a model parent. She studied non-stop.
Bowling can’t make life after the loss of their mother any easier for the boys, but she won’t let them forget her. She encourages them to talk about their mother daily.
ACTC faculty haven’t forgotten either. They want to help the family, which remains in shaky financial shape. They’ve set up a foundation to help the boys and their education. The boys, by the way, are described as being good students who got that way because of their mother’s example.
Donors to the fund may write checks to:
Community and Technical College Foundation of Ashland
Attention Kim Minnehan
1400 College Drive
Ashland KY 41101
MIKE JAMES can be reached at mjames@dailyindependent.com or (606) 326-2652.
